Cry
by Lissa88
Summary: One of the team members becomes sick. Character Death Inspiration from A Walk to Remember GC COMPLETE The site finally let me update :
1. Chapter 1

1

Spoilers: None

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I don't own CSI or the song Cry by Mandy Moore. I do not even own the English language. :-(

Summary: Based on A Walk to Remember. Character death. GC

Catherine had just come from her meeting with Ecklie. She tried not to cry in front of him and succeeded until she could get out of there and make it to the locker room. She was so upset and felt like her world was crashing down. Resigning was the first of many things she had to do within the next couple of months. The previous day, Catherine Willows had gone to the doctor after feeling very weak and tired for a while now. The doctor had suspected cancer and after the MRIs and CAT scans, her suspicions were correct. Catherine had cancer. Leukemia to be exact. The doctor said they should start treatment right away, but told Catherine the truth: She didn't think Catherine had much of a good fighting chance on this. She was now sitting in the locker room and crying as she emptied her locker. Gil walked in and saw her emptying out the contents of her locker into a cardboard box.

"Catherine? What are you doing?" he asked. She turned to face him and he saw she was crying.

"Nothing Gil. I'm just taking some things home." She said, trying to avoid him.

"What's wrong? Did you get fired? Oh, Ecklie has no right to - " Catherine interrupted him.

"I wasn't fired." She said.

"Then why are you taking your things home?" he asked.

"It's none of your business, can you just leave me alone." she said, glad she had finally stopped crying and wanted to think about anything else right now other then the cancer.

"Catherine - " Gil started but she interrupted him again.

"Please, Gil." she said, looking at him trying to hold back new tears. "Please, just leave."

"Okay..." he turned to leave, but she stopped him.

"Wait. I - I'll tell you, but not here. Not now. Could... Could you stop by my house after work?" She asked, now sounding very vulnerable and small.

"Sure." he said, very concerned for his friend. "I'll be there."

Grissom got to Catherine's house right after shift was over. He knocked on her door and she opened it. He could tell she had been crying again. "Hi." he greeted her.

"Hey." she said in a whisper, and moved to let him enter the house.

"So..." he said, settling himself on the couch as she sat next to him, "What did you want to talk to me about?" He was taken aback when she hugged him. She held onto him very tightly and hesitantly he hugged her back. He knew something was really wrong now. After a few minutes of Catherine crying again on his shoulder she pulled back and started talking. "Gil... I'm dying." He was shocked when she said this.

"What are you talking about?" he said confused.

"I have leukemia... and the doctor told me the odds aren't that good in my case." she told him, crying again now. He hugged her again and she started sobbing on his shoulder. "I don't want to die Gil! I don't want to die!" she said as she continued to sob. She cried on his shoulder for a long time as he held her and rubbed her back trying to process the information she told him.

He finally broke apart from her to talk to her.

"Listen to me Catherine. You are so brave and so strong. You listen good. We're going to fight this. We're going to fight it and beat it so bad, that it won't know what hit it. I won't let this happen Catherine. Not without a fight." he told her. She nodded as tears continued to fall down her cheeks. He held her again as she sobbed all the tears she had in her away.


	2. Chapter 2

4 Months Later

Catherine was in the hospital now, being treated again. She was sitting in her bed when Gil came into her room. "Hey there."

"Hi." she said smally. He took a seat next to her bed.

"How ya doing?" he asked.

"I'm doing okay. They said I could go home tomorrow." she told him.

"Cath that's great. You know... since I've been coming over on weekends to help you, I've been thinking maybe we should make that a little more... permanent. Because your treatment will be taking a lot out of you, and Lindsay will be at school and stuff. Maybe - " Catherine cut him off.

"Maybe you should move in? Is that what you're getting at?" she asked with a smile on her face.

"Yeah. That's what I was getting at. So... What do you say?" he asked hopefully.

"Okay. It'll sure help. And it can't hurt right?" she said with a smile again.

It hadn't taken Gil and Catherine long for something to happen between them. A month for a kiss. Another week for them to talk about it. A day for them to sleep together. A week for them to call it a relationship. Then 6 months later they married. It had been a year since Catherine had been diagnosed and things seemed to stay the same. Bad, but not totally horrible. Gil was taking so many holidays and leaves, he was only at work half the time he used to be. Catherine continued to get treated over the next 8 months and after that it started going downhill again. Catherine was hospitalized for 2 months. But a glimmer of hope happened on one sunny day.

"The doctor says I can go home again tomorrow." Catherine told her husband.

"Cath, that's terrific. You're improving again you know." he said to her.

"Yeah. Maybe all of this is finally done." she said smiling.

But their glimmer of hope was struck down again. A week after Catherine was released she was having serious chest pains.

Catherine screamed out in pain as she leaned against the counter for balance. "I'll go call an ambulance!" Gil said running off but Catherine grabbed him by the arm.

"No!" she screamed at him. Gil was confused.

"Catherine, you need to get to the hospital!" he tried to convince her.

"I don't want it! I don't want any of it anymore!" she yelled in pain.

"Cath, you aren't thinking straight. Let me go call 911!" but she wouldn't let him. She fell down to the ground in pain and pulled him with her.

"You won't call 911! I mean it!" she continued to scream.

"Catherine, you can't give up on me here! I promised you I wouldn't let this happen!" he yelled as they both started to cry.

"But you can't make that promise Gil. I'm fighting a losing battle, I don't want to fight anymore! No more drugs, no more chemo, no more treaments, no more!" she tried to make him understand.

"You can't do this to me Cath." he had tears running down his cheeks.

"I'm not doing this to you, Gil. I'm doing this _for _me... I don't wanna go through this anymore." she wiped her hand against his cheek to stop his tears as she continued to cry and explain to him. "I don't want to suffer anymore. I don't want the pain. I want the pain to go away, Gil. I don't want it!"

"Cath -" he started again.

"You'll be okay. You know how much I love you and Lindsay knows. My family and friends know. I'm ready."

"But Catherine - " she placed a finger to his lips to stop him from talking.

"No regrets..." she said in a whisper on her last breath as she closed her eyes and let her heart stop. Gil sat there on the floor with her in his arms and cried all the tears he could.


	3. Chapter 3

_I'll always remember. It was late afternoon. _

_It last forever and ended so soon._

_You were all by yourself staring up at a dark gray sky._

_I was changed. _

I sit here and watch them close my casket. Warrick, Nick and Greg look so handsome in their suits as pallbearers. They're crying over me, and it breaks my heart. I see Gil and Lindsay in the front row. Lindsay is crying, but Gil isn't. I know why. He can't anymore. He's empty of tears.

_In places no one will find, all your feelings so deep inside. _

_It was then that I realized that forever was in your eyes_

_The moment I saw you cry_

Their limo is driving away to the gravesight. I see them all getting out of their cars. I see my mother, my sister, my husband and daughter. My father and my co-workers and friends. I see them all and again, it breaks my heart to see them upset over me.

_It was late in September, and I've seen you before._

_You were always the cold one, but I was never that sure._

_You were all by yourself staring up at the dark gray sky. _

_I was changed. _

Sam gave the eulogy. I'm glad I made peace with him before I died. I'm happy that I had no baggage when I left. His eulogy was beautiful. He talked about me as a child, me as a stripper, me as a mother, me as a daughter, me as a friend. He talked about the pain he understood of having to bury his only daughter and the pain my mother must have felt.

_In places no one will find, all your feelings so deep inside. _

_It was then that I realized, that forever was in your eyes_

_The moment I saw you cry. _

They laid my casket in the ground and covered it with dirt. Everyone laid a white rose on my gravesight: my favorite flower.

_I wanted to hold you. I wanted to make it go away. _

_I wanted to know you, I wanted to make your everything alrgiht_

_I'll always remember, it was late afternoon._

_In places no one will find_

Gil and Lindsay stared at my grave as all the mourners left in their car. They silently cried as Sara, Nick, Warrick, Jim and Greg came up. They all exchanged hugs and Jim read my grave aloud. "Catherine Willows-Grissom. Devoted mother, loving wife, beautiful friend. March 26th, 1963 - September 28th 2007."

_In places no one will find, all your feelings so deep inside._

_It was then that I realized that forever was in your eyes_

_The moment I saw you cry_

And with that I cried. And tears began to fall down into the clouds and turned to rain. The rain poured down on my team, my family and they ran to their cars except for Gil. He stood there and looked up at the sky.

_In places no one will find, all your feelings so deep inside._

_It was then that I realized that forever was in your eyes _

_The moment I saw you cry_

I'm glad I finally left. For the past 2 years I've been dead. I've been dead in a living body and for the past two years, my family and friends have been mourning my death that had not yet come. But it came and now that I've gone... they can finally move on.


End file.
